BDS Reflection

I think a good song generally builds up, then there's a drop, a decline of action, a break from the peaks of activity in the song, and I think I've started to imitate that while writing because of BDS's and this class. I now use an intro for my metaphorical song, I prewrite to come up with ideas, to inspire creativity. I have the fast beats and climaxes, the line in a song you have to rewind and listen to again to completely understand just how great that was when I write. I can feel the excitement building up and starting to take off to euphoria, but then it's time for the chorus, or break. That's when I regroup, settle back in and prepare for the next verse of the song. Repeat these steps a few times like we did today in class, and you have yourself a song, or paper you can be proud of. There's no headache from nonstop action, there's a longing to do it again. There's an anticipation for the next time you hear that song or sit down to write the next BDS. This revelation was brought to you by a mixture of insomnia and the new Kanye West cd, and with that, I'm gonna drop the mic and walk off the stage.

Boice reflection

I won't lie, I struggle with anxiety. Whenever a big test is coming up, I can hardly sleep (hence why I am up at this ungodly hour). I lay there in bed, tossing and turning, my mind won't stop freaking out and worrying. Now this is a different anxiety than others have, but I feel this intense mental blocking is the same. With that being said, I liked a lot of what Boice was saying. The idea of pulling a Thomas the Train and using positive thoughts to block out the negatives ("I think I can, I think I can."), is something I feel is a great idea, in theory. I find it much harder to actually pull that off and reassure myself of the positives when I am anxious. I was sort of taken aback when Boice said he rejected treating anxiety with drug therapy because it is "addictive and soporific." If we wanted to reject the idea that using drugs to cope with problems such as anxiety or depression then we'd be missing out on most of America's great literature. Alcoholics drink for many reasons, many alcoholics think it helps with their anxiety or depression (even if it is technically a depressant I feel most of us have felt adverse side effects). Here's a list off the top of my head of famous authors and athletes that were either addicted or using drug therapy: Hunter S Thompson, Tennessee Williams, Poe, Capote, Kerouac, Faulkner, Fitzgerald, Hemingway, David Foster Wallace, J.K, Rowling, Stephen King, Zack Greinke and Ricky Williams. All of those people had their problems solved in one way or another by using drugs. I won't argue it can't be destructive, but I would argue there's a strong correlation between dependence and overcoming problems.

Sorry about my rant and back to Boice. Being the logical minded, rational thinker I try to be, I liked that he brought that up. I've always felt that using logic and reasoning helps eliminate the excess emotions we sometimes get caught up in, and I was happy to see Boice actually acknowledged that. Like Boice was saying, it's not bad to have emotions, but we need to use rational thinking to moderate their levels. I feel our meditations in class have really helped with that.

BDS Reflection

After today's conversation, I thought today I'd try to consider emotions and my thoughts more during my writing session. I wanted to write a little bit about my opinions on the topics we touched in class, which hit close to home for me as well. I found that yes, while emotions did creep up, remembering situations my family has gone through, it really does help to take a step back, wait till you can handle those emotions, and continue. This waiting strategy not only can keep the body comfortable when writing, not only the mind focused, but it really helps the quality of the writing as well. Emotions tend to make us look like fools. They creep up on us and begin to control what we think and what we write, so when I noticed I started to feel something like anger or sadness, I took a break. I took some deep breathes, refocusing my attention to the present, and continued. I'm the guy who loves to debate, and emotionally charged points never have the credibility or logic well thought out points do. We can still inspire an emotional reaction without being controlled by emotions ourselves, it just takes practice, brief daily practice (baha).

Boice Reaction

I found it interesting, this idea of an emotional compromise or emotional range of acceptable happiness. While I can clearly see the benefits of fighting against depression, it kind of disappoints me that we should calm ourselves when we are too happy. It's a catch-22, we strive to maximize pleasure and happiness all our lives, but being too happy can, in fact, have negative consequences. It's like being drunk, you always think something sounds like a good idea at the time but when you sober up you realize how scatterbrained and bad your idea most likely was. I think there really is something to be said for a "happy medium" when it comes to writing or productivity of any kind. We become careless, overlook mistakes, have illusions of grandeur when we are overly emotional. Maybe it is true, everything good in life is immoral, illegal, or bad for you..

BDS Reflection

My BDS today was all about getting everything I was thinking out and off my chest. I think most of us find that extended amounts of time with extended family can be quite stressful and that stress can mess with our heads. So my BDS may seem sporadic but it was a much needed venting session. The deep breathing, meditation and yoga we did in class helped get me in the right mind to express my thoughts. I planned today by simply stating what topics were on my mind. Then, I began to see a pattern, ways they connected, I had something best described as the clichéd moment of clarity. Following my plan led to a much more fluid and readable writing. The word vomit became word regurgitation,  something not entirely good, but a step in the right direction. The breaks helped me stay focused and on subject, keeping me from rambling off into obscure thoughts. I found it so helpful in fact, I took two shorter breaks to gather myself and readjust for comfort.

BDS Reflection

Today I held myself to the idea that I wouldn't watch tv and would give my roommate a dollar if I didn't write, so as soon as I got home and had free time, I felt like this would be a good time to sit down, and get to work. I needed to do notes for my online class, so I decided an hour would work because of the length of the assignment at hand.

I used the double sided notes again, they really seem to work for me. Adding in your own personal thoughts on one side seems to help remembering the key points on the other side. It also gives it a bit of personality and fun that just writing down facts doesn't have. So I took my time to remain comfortable and wrote down only what was absolutely needed to maximize efficiency.

I can feel the stress of waiting for the due date to arrive is already a fleeting feeling. If I can just continue this habit of actually getting stuff done before its due, then slowly and surely I can get things done. Such a new and fresh feeling.

Boice 107-112 Reaction

I'll come out and say it: I'm lazy. The word sloth comes to mind when describing me. A perfect day is a day in bed napping. I find that I will wiggle and barter my way out of anything just to do nothing, then binge and finish it the hour before it is due. So this contingency planning sounded like a grand idea. It may set the spark to ignite my fire. I've already told my roommate if I don't do a bds I owe him a dollar a day (because I can't afford to be sending checks to the NRA). I've also set up the reward/punishment part that if I don't do a bds, I am not allowed to watch tv that day, which is going to be killer because at my new house, there's pretty much nothing to do. So hopefully, I can form the habit of working at a constant pace to chip away at longer tasks so I don't have to barter and binge to get them done the minute they are due.

BDS Reflection

I had really nothing to do in class today for a bds, my online class can't continue until my last essay is graded and my next test is taken. So today I was kind of worried I would have nothing to write about. Then I decided to try some of Boice's suggestions about blocking. I just wrote down what I was noticing or thinking about at the time we were supposed to be planning. I wrote down things ranging from how mad I was my shoes weren't the same shade of blue as my shirt to how it'd be kind of funny if aliens actually were behind what we call global warming (I'm kind of odd and have a very random imagination).
After deciding on that awesome topic I wrote down some ideas about what I could write about under that umbrella, I planned a little bit, kind of. Then just went with the flow and started writing, about two pages later I thought I should stop just in case I feel like doing more with it, to keep the conversation open if you will, and take time to think about it and toss ideas around in my head.
I'm sort of pumped that I put into practice this many ideas and techniques we've read and talked about that I thought I would be more resistant to.

Bds Reflection

I couldn't really get in gear to do much writing today. So I sat down, and just wrote whatever came to mind again. After our conversation about how everything is connected and dependent on something else, I started thinking of philosophy again. This idea of connectivity reminds me of the idea of determinism. The idea that, if given all the knowledge and information in the world, one could, in theory, predict any and every outcome accurately. So I began writing, just any argument for or against determinism, and I noticed how I couldn't really keep track of time. Twenty minutes passed and I decided maybe I should take a break, refocus my eyes, pop my back and get comfortable. After the break, I reread what I had written, analyzing everything and deciphering both sides of my argument. This may sound extremely boring to most, but philosophy and arguments are two of my favorite things so I found this brief daily session one of, if not the most, gratifying writing I've done in quite some time.

Boice Reaction

I found this section to be a bit too repetitive for me to really get all that interested or excited about. It seems the things we have been learning to do, take breaks, develop the habit of writing, prepare outlines, etc. are Boice's steps to cure any and all writing problems.
However, as a binge writer, I did appreciate rule #12. The idea of staying in touch with ongoing works each and everyday to stay familiar and continue the personal conversation with the work seems to be a great way to stay focused and generate new ideas on what could feel like a dull writing. Seeing as we have been attempting to incorporate most of these ideas already, I feel strongly that this is the one I should try the hardest to form as a habit, instead of giving it the old college try.

Boice 83-90

I found myself thinking, I hardly ever have what people refer to as "writer's block." I never have the moments that nothing seems to come out. While, I have always realized that if I were working on a novel or an essay that was over, say, 15 pages, I could certainly picture myself getting stuck at times. What I didn't realize, until the self assessment portion of the text, is that my (always acknowledged) laziness and work aversion could be construed as a type of "writer's block." I slowly began to realize that I would most likely score quite high on: work aversion and laziness, procrastination, impatience, perfectionism, and rigid rules. Ouch. So maybe I need to try outlining, maybe I need to sit down and just free write more often, maybe brief daily sessions will help with my laziness and procrastination.

BDS Reaction July 12th

I decided that today, for my BDS, I would give the double sided notes a shot. I tend to over analyze the text and write notes about anything and everything, so more efficient note taking would be a big help when it comes to studying my notes later. I remembered how much I hated doing these in middle school but tastes change and are refined by age, right? So I started reading, trying to only write down the main points, things that seemed important about the text's overall concepts. Being a brief biography, I found myself writing down the influences and things that differentiated the subject from his peers, and then my personal reflections as to why these were important, how they fit into the bigger picture, or my own personal views on the subject's beliefs and unique traits.
The experience was a more involved, easier to remember way of writing notes. This killed two birds with one stone, making a personal connection with something is by far the easiest way to remember something in my experience. I feel like I don't need to rewrite my notes, as I usually do, to figure out what is and isn't important, and now I have a head start on remembering the more important points in the text without much effort.

Boice Reflection 64-72

The only thing that surpasses my love of logic is my love of doing nothing. My laziness often times makes me rush and binge to get an essay done all in one sitting. The extent of my laziness knows no bounds as, and I swear this to be true, the only times I've ever even written first drafts are when they are graded or required for the final draft. So prewriting is a foreign idea to me.

I have started to acknowledge that my laziness has added too much stress to my life lately, and outlining seems to be the best way to reduce this stress. It's informal enough that I hopefully won't hate it and the benefits are undeniable. I love the idea that it's a formulated way to keep track of all your thoughts and ideas. 

I found it really interesting and helpful that Boice provided his own outline. Never having done one, it was nice to be able to refer to an example. I'm going to have to print off this section and keep it as a reference for the next time I have an assignment that needs organizing and prewriting. 

BDS Reflection

I wanted to try the idea of just writing down all thoughts on paper to inspire imagination today in class.  It was mentioned in one line of Boice and that line got me thinking, I have never just written down everything and anything that goes through my mind. It was an incredibly freeing exercise. I started off complaining about how I left my computer at home so I couldn't do my online class, but then just started rambling about anything and everything from my roommate's 21st birthday last night to epistemology and philosophy of perceptions. I just wrote anything that came to mind. I did this until it was time to take a comfort break. During the break I found myself still contemplating epistemology, and realized I was waiting as Boice suggests, thinking about your topics while not writing. After the break, I found myself somewhat inspired, and in the five or so minutes after the break we wrote, I filled half a page debating philosophy with myself. I don't consider myself the most imaginative or creative person but I could feel this surge of creativity and logic surging through me. After class, I still had the urge to write, but I figured I may as well actively wait and contemplate what I have already written to analyze and decipher through it. This practice really got me excited, now I want to try it anytime I'm in a bind when writing.

Reaction 59-64

I don't really consider myself to have the most active imagination or be the most creative person around, so the idea of literally thinking on paper to spark creativity and imagination is something I'd really like to try. Writing down my scattered thoughts could very well be the key to feeling and, in turn, being a more creative writer. Having a thought about sports, then my schedule, then some philosophical construct all written down should lead to reflection. And sorting those ideas and organizing them could lead to inspiration I feel.

I also want to try the limiting my note-taking to one page, I feel like this too would be more effective for almost any subject. It forces you to summarize the ideas in your own words while picking and choosing the most important aspects to cover. You may have to reference where you found these themes, which leads you back to rereading the texts again. So in short, you work smarter, not harder.

Reaction 43-50

Imagination is something I struggle with. I am a logically minded person, a firm believer that if we were given all the information and knowledge in the world, we could predict everything about to happen. This idea of a formulated world has left me to struggle with the abstract idea of imagination. But after reading this chapter I could see that imagination may not be this abstract concept, but the outcome of a process, or formula. I really liked the idea that I, being unimaginative, could use this formula, this process to create something imaginative and creative.

The process Boice refers to as double entry note taking I remember fro  middle school, we called it double sided notes. I haven't done it since middle school but I like the idea of it helping to jump start my imagination.

Reaction 30-38

Making or breaking a habit is one of the hardest things in life to do, and that's what stuck out most to me in the reading for today. The idea of writing every single day to get in the habit, to make it part of your routine, is a foreign concept to me. I've always just started writing whenever inspiration hit, and that, I believe, is why my online English class is starting to bear down on me. I think I'll start doing half an hour a day, every day, to complete it before the deadline. Hopefully it keeps me from burning out like what is described in the reading.

I found myself agreeing with the mania portion of today's reading. I liked how Boice acknowledged it being somewhat of a blessing and a curse. When he listed some of the side effects, lack of sleep, energy, etc. I found myself agreeing with his assessment, especially because I got exactly zero hours of sleep last night. I have plenty of experience going without sleep because of the stresses being a binge writer/student, but I feel if I push myself to actually do work every day, for a given amount of time instead of laying in bed watching Breaking Bad, there could be many fewer sleepless nights.

Reaction 20-30

In today's reading I found myself nodding in agreement to the objections far too often. The rule about waiting was especially eye opening because, being a binge writer, once I get that idea it's off to the races. Letting it cultivate, turning the ideas over before writing seems like a worthwhile strategy to further any idea I have, basically the adage "think before you speak." I did however realize that I often do actively motivate myself before starting by listening to music. Only once the perfect song comes on can I start.

While I'm not sold on the pauses in the middle of my writing, I did notice the one comment "once I'm going, to hell with my outline." I am in line with that opinion but can acknowledge the usefulness of the breaks to keep organized and on track.

Just my two cents, I have to go now before I'm late to work. Maybe I'll meditate on my lunch break.

BDS July 3rd

While reading, I noticed I felt more focused after getting that short meditation/focusing exercise. It was some sort of unique calmness that let me read slowly enough to focus on every point the author made, evaluate it, and decide if I agreed or not. It jump started my personal conversation. Normally the commentary for my online class is a never ending nightmare, but with short breaks I didn't get nearly as burnt out or tired when reading the lifeless notes.

I, however, was not a big fan of the break in the middle of the session today. I can see how useful it could be, as it stopped me from hating every moment of the commentary, but I'm the type that when I get going, get out of my way because nothing will stop me. I'll have to try it for more than just writing, as it could be useful for studying instead of pulling all nighters the night before a test.

14-19 Response

I really like the idea of writing being a social process like a conversation. The idea that we need to learn current ideas and topics on a given subject before we can speak on it or make an argument for it seems to be true for any subject, especially writing. I personally connected with the reading about the idea that once you join a conversation, you slowly start to feel this motivation to speak out building up inside, but only after you have learned enough to know you have something special to say.

I found myself nodding my head in agreement with most of what was written but that was the main thing I took away from these five pages. The phrase on page 18 "Expectations weigh heavily on motivations," really stood out to me. I sometimes think the deadline is my friend when I'm writing a paper. A deadline is like the biggest motivating factor I can think of, so this idea of short daily writing and taking my time to slow down is quite foreign to me. I can see only benefits really, as most papers I have written may have gotten good grades, but most likely, I couldn't identify my own papers after the introduction. I sort of explode with creativity all at once, an eruption of thoughts and words. Maybe if I do take daily writing seriously, I'll be less of a violent eruption or more of a river of words flowing constantly and consistently.

Today's Reflection

For my online class today, I read selected poems by William Blake. Fun fact I learned today: the band in the Russell Brand movies Get Him To the Greek and Forgetting Sarah Marshall is actually named after the poem "Infant Sorrow." I found that the rhythmic breathing that occurs when one meditates helps set a sort of internal metronome, perfect for reading poetry. The focus on slowing down let me catch every word, the slant rhymes, the allusions and other tools Blake uses to create vivid philosophical pictures.

The commentary left by my professor however, couldn't be helped by any amount of meditation, slowing down my reading or any other technique. After reading the poems, I spent the next half hour reading the commentary. I only got about half way through what seems like endless amounts of words, but hopefully tomorrow I can recharge and push through the rest of the commentary and get the assignment done.